Devastation, Part 2

This story is in two parts, be sure to read Part One.

You can be sure that if you ask God for something, he will answer you- it may not be the answer you want- but he does answer.

In my case I asked God to devastate me. 

I had no idea how vast the request I made and I had no idea what it entailed.

But I asked God to devastate me anyways...

Within a few months, everything and everyone that I considered most dear to me was gone in some way or another. Believe me, it was overwhelming- more than I had planned on it being. It was so overwhelming, that I couldn't understand why in the world I was in this place.  I couldn't see past my circumstances and I most certainly could not understand why God would let this happen to me. I felt utterly crushed, yep, you could say completely destroyed.

During this time, I was in probably the most driest season I have ever been in, spiritually speaking, but it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Words can't adequately describe what all took place during this time, but let me tell you, a total heart change took place for me and God became so real to me! 

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It was the weekend of one of my best friend's wedding. I got to be a part of this wedding and I was beyond ecstatic about being a part if this weekend. It was a beautiful weekend, full of beautiful fellowship. The day before I was going to fly home, the other bridesmaids and I stayed up talking to the brides mother.

 At some point, I started talking-

"Look," I said, "I know I have been really quiet this weekend, it's just that I am in a spiritually dry place  and so I've just been soaking all this in."

For some time, I had been using "Being in a dry season" as a crutch to just be quiet.

And then it clicked...

I was in this place because I asked God to do this to me. It wasn't that he wanted to punish me, he was answering my prayer. Talk about a 360 in perspective! He devastated me- and he didn't just overwhelm me. He had to break me in order to get my attention. Let me tell you, I couldn't be more grateful that I went through all of it. There is still a road ahead of me, but it's a great comfort to know that God know exactly what He is doing with me, and I don't have to worry because he holds my life in his hands.

If I learned anything through all of this, it's God does answers prayers, it may not be exactly the answer I or you were asking for, but in the end He knows best, and it's a beautiful comfort to know that.

He most certainly is beautiful in the way He works. I am blown away and completely grateful that I was able to experience this.

Don't be afraid to ask God to devastate you, sometimes it will take brokenness to fall in love with him.

 It did for me and I couldn't ask for any better way. 

Devastation, Part. 1

(This song is an important part of this blog post, If you want listen to it while reading, whatever you want..This is something God has been showing me over the course of the last year...)


I remember first hearing this song.

"Just another love song to Jesus., I thought.

The chorus messed with me every time I heard it though.

Captivate us, Lord Jesus, Set our eyes on you
Devastate us with your presence falling down
Rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume is with you.
Captivate us, Lord Jesus with you.

I can understand the rest of the chorus, but devastate, really? Why in the world would anyone make a request to God to devastate them. What a crazy request!

It was a crazy request until I looked up the word... and to my surprise, there were two definitions.

Devastate- 1. to render desolate, completely destroy
                2. To completely overwhelm.

Now, apply it to the chorus-


Captivate us, Lord Jesus, Set our eyes on you
Devastate (Completely overwhelm)  us with your presence falling down

Not just a simple love song anymore, to me at least.

The more I thought about it, it made sense. I think it is one of the most beautiful concepts ever- to be in love with God that is and I wanted to be devastated- overwhelmed that is- with His loveliness, His beauty, His goodness....

So I said to God to:

"Ok God, you can devastate me a little bit- just the overwhelm part though- don't completely wreck my life, ok?"

Ummmm.... really?

What I didn't realize was that it sometimes takes being completely destroyed and rendered desolate to be overwhelmed by how beautiful, how lovely, and how good Christ really is.

 I encouraged my friends to let God devastate them and even gave one of my dear friends a gift that I thought represented the concept.

"It's not an easy request,"  I wrote to another friend, "But, I hope God devastates me. The thought is a little scary, but think about it, in the end it'll be worth it.'


I had no idea how vast the request I made and I had no idea what it entailed.

But I asked God to devastate me anyways...

Grateful...

                                               

In daily life, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful.

but gratefulness that makes us happy

.~ David Steindl-Rast

Today, I woke up grateful.

 Grateful for my new job. Grateful for friends. Grateful for time with a precious niece and nephew. 

Today, I am grateful.

Grateful that God answers prayers. Grateful that He has my life in His hands. 

Grateful that He gave me another day.

Today I woke up grateful.

Grateful  for simple things. Grateful for beautiful things.

Today I woke up grateful.

Grateful for laughter. Grateful for smiles. Grateful for love.

Today, I am grateful.

Grateful that God is faithful. Grateful that God is good. Grateful that God is Loving.

Today I am grateful, and I am happy. 

 Today, I am grateful and it has made all the difference in my day.

You are my God, and I will give thanks to you; you are my God; I will extol you. 

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! Psalm 118:28-29