Devastation, Part 2

This story is in two parts, be sure to read Part One.

You can be sure that if you ask God for something, he will answer you- it may not be the answer you want- but he does answer.

In my case I asked God to devastate me. 

I had no idea how vast the request I made and I had no idea what it entailed.

But I asked God to devastate me anyways...

Within a few months, everything and everyone that I considered most dear to me was gone in some way or another. Believe me, it was overwhelming- more than I had planned on it being. It was so overwhelming, that I couldn't understand why in the world I was in this place.  I couldn't see past my circumstances and I most certainly could not understand why God would let this happen to me. I felt utterly crushed, yep, you could say completely destroyed.

During this time, I was in probably the most driest season I have ever been in, spiritually speaking, but it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Words can't adequately describe what all took place during this time, but let me tell you, a total heart change took place for me and God became so real to me! 

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It was the weekend of one of my best friend's wedding. I got to be a part of this wedding and I was beyond ecstatic about being a part if this weekend. It was a beautiful weekend, full of beautiful fellowship. The day before I was going to fly home, the other bridesmaids and I stayed up talking to the brides mother.

 At some point, I started talking-

"Look," I said, "I know I have been really quiet this weekend, it's just that I am in a spiritually dry place  and so I've just been soaking all this in."

For some time, I had been using "Being in a dry season" as a crutch to just be quiet.

And then it clicked...

I was in this place because I asked God to do this to me. It wasn't that he wanted to punish me, he was answering my prayer. Talk about a 360 in perspective! He devastated me- and he didn't just overwhelm me. He had to break me in order to get my attention. Let me tell you, I couldn't be more grateful that I went through all of it. There is still a road ahead of me, but it's a great comfort to know that God know exactly what He is doing with me, and I don't have to worry because he holds my life in his hands.

If I learned anything through all of this, it's God does answers prayers, it may not be exactly the answer I or you were asking for, but in the end He knows best, and it's a beautiful comfort to know that.

He most certainly is beautiful in the way He works. I am blown away and completely grateful that I was able to experience this.

Don't be afraid to ask God to devastate you, sometimes it will take brokenness to fall in love with him.

 It did for me and I couldn't ask for any better way.